


I love you, Dean Winchester

by notexactlyanangel



Series: Valentines Day One Shots [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys In Love, Break Up, Breaking Up & Making Up, Castiel/Dean Winchester Break Up, F/F, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Love, M/M, Post-Break Up, Self Confidence Issues, True Love, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-19 05:40:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22672750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notexactlyanangel/pseuds/notexactlyanangel
Summary: Dean Winchester has made a big mistake. The biggest mistake of his entire life. He has broken up with the love of his life, Castiel. And now, he has no choice but to sit in his sorrow. But with the help of Charlie, will Dean be able to fix his mess?
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury & Castiel, Charlie Bradbury & Dean Winchester, Dorothy Baum/Charlie Bradbury
Series: Valentines Day One Shots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1630075
Kudos: 47





	I love you, Dean Winchester

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back! Hopefully you like this one! Don't forget to follow me on tumblr @notexactlyanangel! Enjoy :)

The bar was colder than Dean had remembered it, the smell of bourbon and bad food filling the air. Dean smiled at the bartender as he took another shot of the familiar tequila. Usually, he didn’t opt for shots. But today was a day where all he wanted was to watch the world slip away. Hopefully, in a few hours, he’d wake up with no memory of tonight, and a girl in his bed. Hopefully, he’d find a way to shake the feeling of guilt from his stomach. But for now, he was stuck in between drunk and sober, conscious enough to remember, drunk enough to not think about it. 

Dean didn’t want to remember. He didn’t want the constant feeling of self-loathing to take over again. He just wanted to be adrift, somewhere where the love of his life was still around. Somewhere where his life was the way it was supposed to be. Where he was with the person he was supposed to be with. But this wasn’t that world. Well, it wasn’t that world yet. In about seven drinks, he’d be there. Or he’d be in a hospital. He didn’t really care. He’d rather be anywhere but in his own mind right about now. 

The lights outside the bar were blinding as Dean stumbled into his ‘67 Chevy Impala. He wasn’t planning on driving, he just needed space. He sat there, the engine roaring as he fell asleep to the sound of carry on wayward son. He wouldn’t admit that he was crying, but he was. He was. But what else was he to do? He’d gone too far. 

Castiel was sitting in his lonely apartment, listening to Troye Sivan on repeat. Just because he was expecting it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt like hell. He didn’t want the reminders, but he didn’t know what else to do. He took out the old photographs and began to cry as he placed them in a box. He wouldn’t even look at them again. He let a small thought escape into his head, a small wonder of what Dean was doing. Was he hurt too? Or was it just him. Was it all a lie? He wasn’t sure.

Suddenly, he heard a knock on the door, a simple reminder of the friend he still had. He opened the door to find Charlie, holding a bag of food. “Thought you’d need to eat,” she said, a sad smile appearing on her face. Her red hair was in a ponytail, the familiar purple hair tie scrunched in her hair. Castiel couldn’t hold it in much longer but kept it together to let her in. “Thanks.” He said, his voice hoarse from the tears. 

“Anytime baby.” She said, giving him a familiar wink. “Us gays gotta stick together.” She said, giving Cas a friendly punch. He looked at her with a soft smile. “Cas, you have to tell me what happened.” She said as she began to take the Chinese food out of the bag. “Yeah, yeah,” Cas responded looking at his friend with pained eyes. “Only when your ready though.” She said a soft smile painted on her lips. “I’m sorry, Cas.” She said, looking at him with pity. “Yeah, me too,” Castiel responded, a fake smile burning on his face. Charlie could see the tears beginning in his beautiful blue eyes. “Come here,” She said, pulling him into a hug. The flood gates were opened, leaving a sobbing Castiel hanging off her shoulder. 

Back at the Impala, Dean awakened with his head pounding and the sun burning overhead. He was also the only car in the parking lot. He went to pick up his phone but realized there was nobody worried about where he was anymore. Old habits, he supposed. He didn’t mind the constant pounding going through his head, because it reminded him not to think too hard about the day before. He didn’t want to think. 

He decided after a while to actually check his phone. Hopefully, there would be no messages on it. Unfortunately from him, he had seven voicemails from Charlie, eight texts from Sam and a single missed call from Jo. He took a deep breath and hit play.  
“Hey Dean, it’s Jo, um call me back? I heard and I’m here if you want to talk.” 

Hey Dean txt me back  
Its sam  
Dean?  
Dean Hello!  
I’m worried about you,  
I heard the news please text me  
Dean?  
Call me when the hangover’s past. 

He looked at the last voicemails. The ones from Charlie. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to look at them. He wasn’t sure if he could handle it. But this was his mess. This was his fault. And maybe he deserved what was coming. 

“Dean. You have some explaining to do.”  
“Dean, call me back you son of a bitch you.”  
“Dean. Why? Please call me back.”  
“Dean if you’re at a bar I will personally kill you myself.”  
“If you’re going to break the best thing that has ever happened to you I want to know why.”  
“Dean, it’s Charlie. You need to talk to him.”  
“Dean. Please don’t do this.”

Dean stared at the phone, a slight tear falling from his cheek. Slowly, he placed his phone down and began to think. His eyes slowly closing as he looked up at the impalas black ceiling. Why? He didn’t even know the answer himself. Or maybe he just didn’t want to face it. 

Castiel had fallen asleep on his couch, wich Charlie just next to him. He had pretended not to here the seven thousand calls she made that night, tried his best not to think about it. “Cas, you up?” She called looking at him with sweet eyes, as she grumbled out of the kitchen. “I better call Dorothy, let her know I was here.” She said, immediately regretting it. “Oh I’m sorry, I forgot you definitely don’t want to hear about me and Dorthy right now.” She retorted, softly cursing herself. As she went to call Dorothy, Deans’s number flashed up on her phone screen. “I’m gonna go call her brb.” She called, rushing to the upstairs bathroom.  
“Dean? What the hell!” She whispered into the phone. “I know, I know. Okay, spare me the lecture. I already know.” Dean’s voice was muffled through the phone, but she could still hear the pain in his voice. “Look, I fucked up Charles.” He said, and she could hear the regret slowly surfacing. “I’m aware of that. Now I want to know why.” She said, her tone strict and powerful through the phone. “Because he deserves better. I’m a fuck up. He deserves the world, Charlie. I’m not able to give him that.” His voice broke as he spoke, her eyes slowly softening. 

“Dean do you not understand that you are his world? Damn it, Dean! You are such an asshole!” She said, her voice rising just a little. “I know.” He replied, his voice in agony. “If it helps, he means the world to me,” Dean said, after a moment of silence. “If he means the world to you, then why did you do it? Look, Dean, we are all fucked up kids trying our best. And you know what? I still love Dorothy and she loves me. Dean, you have baggage, you have bullshit, but don’t you think Cas will love you through all of it? He’d fucking love you through all of it. Dean, you don’t get to control what happens to you, and you’ve been through it. But I am not going to let you throw away the best thing that has ever happened to you! I’m not. So get your ass over here and talk to him,” Her voice was at a normal level now, and she was sure Castiel could hear her. 

“Charlie,” Dean began, and she quickly stopped him. “No buts. You will be here and if your not ill kill you.” She wasn’t exactly joking. Castiel and Dean were perfect for each other. She wasn’t going to let Deans’ daddy issues and self-hatred get in the way of something beautiful. 

So, she dressed Castiel in a suit and made sure he looked nice. When he asked why she told him it was because he needed a distraction. Then, just as she’d finished, there was a knock at the door. “I’ll get it!” She squealed looking at her best friend as she walked towards the door. Standing there in a suit with flowers was none other than Dean Winchester. She gave him a glare and a smile, as she called Cas. “Hey, Cas you might want to come to see this!” She shouted as she walked over into the living room. This was going to be the most entertaining night of her life. And, well she had placed bets on how soon the two would get back together, and she wanted some of Sam Winchesters lawyer money. 

“Charlie? What is it no..” Castiel stood there, staring the boy who broke his heart in the eyes. Those beautiful green eyes. The ones that sparkled in the sunlight, and dazzled when he smiled. The dangerous kind. “What do you want?” Castiel asked, trying his best to hide the shock. “I fucked up,” Dean said, trying his best not to make eye contact. “I fucked up and I broke your heart and I didn’t mean for that to happen, I wanted to protect you,” Dean started, his tone wobbling. “I know it doesn’t matter, and I know you hate me because well, I’d hate me too but Cas you were the best thing to ever happen to me, and I couldn’t bear the thought of you spending your life with an ass like me. You deserve better than me Cas, but I love you,” Dean kept talking, watching as Cas tried to hold in his tears.  
“Cas, I love you more than anything, I love you more than food, god I’d give you the world.” He was on the verge of crying now, as Castiel looked at him with pain. 

“Then why did you end it?” Castiel asked, his lip quivering. “Why Dean?” Dean looked at him with remorseful eyes. “Because I loved you too much to watch you get hurt again. Cas, I’m a fuck up. I’m a disaster and I pull shit like this and you deserve better!” Dean was crying now, and a slight tear was falling down Castiel’s cheek. “Dean, why don’t you understand? You’re loved! I love you, Dean. I love the way you smile and the way you laugh and I love the light in your eyes when you look at those you love. When will you see we don’t need to be protected from you? Dean, we all have our bullshit. Hell, I’m a pain in the ass too. But I love you anyway.” Castiel said, placing his hands on Dean’s cheek. “Dean Winchester, you break my heart,” Castiel said, his blue eyes gleaming with tears. 

Then slowly, Cas leaned in, placing his soft lips onto Dean’s. He could taste the salt from their tears as he held on, the sparks flying all around them. Dean was Castiel’s world. The thought of living without him was almost his undoing. Lucky for Cas, Dean Winchester was an idiot in tough boy clothing. His hands moved up his neck, a fresh reminder that Dean was back. That his world was back in orbit. Castiel could breathe again. They pulled away, allowing the other to let it sink in. “But, I forgive you. Because Dean Winchester, you are worth the pain.” Castiel smiled, looking up at Dean with bright eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry this one wasn't as long as yesterday, it's been hectic. But I promise Thursdays will be better :) I'll try to post something tomorrow but, we'll see. Thanks for reading! Love yall


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